Deepening School Love Story, Learning Love Through Roses
As the petals started falling, I left all my cover in the nether ages
Quest
Have you seen the movie, ‘Boyhood’, if at all there was any fraction of teen and tincture stories that we unfurl, Boyhood was a masterpiece as it sought life and told the saga of How life percolates and reaches the other end seeping like an unending flow of honey and nectar. Nectar made the honey sweeter while the bees flourished with nectar. As unabashed and free as I am today, I miss every bit of How I lived. Trapped in these four walls imagining everything possible that can happen, if the walls squished me leaving blood marks I will be gone. Before going I want to meet him, the worthy him who was destined to be, not a creator but just him, whisking and unearthing, a powered man who will be masculine for me. For I am too feminine for him.
Trail
The rough edges lay in the harsh hands. Still remember I asked Papa one day to show his hands, I touched it, rough and crooked, almost blemished, too thick. For I believed if he ever used force or gulped me, I would die. I have so much to say, as I walk on this beach looking ahead, while in reality, I lay in my bed, being transported repeatedly. I see a rose pinkish and a darker version of pink, just on the outskirts of our beautiful home. Amidst golden dust, the rose lay almost like a survivor in the harsh city of death.
Like the Sahara hotter than hell lands, or the highest point on earth Siachen, in India. As I took out my journal, scribbling and trying to reach for the pen not visible, using my fingers to write. Oh, I am still in these four walls, wait Wasn’t I on the beach?
I started writing but my fingers are still working and pouring in my imagination. The pink and red roses seem to be a couple of the decade, Do you know plants are asexual beings? They do not consummate to outgrow another human. I wished humans could, In startling harsh force on the door waves of people charged in. I said, “What happened?” “Are you okay?”, Malti asked. Malti was my go-to friend whenever I felt lonely she always came.
For she was not my best friend she was my only friend. Not really!!! Uh….. She was more than a friend to me. She liked Pink and Red roses. (I was still trying to process so many people seeing me, I am taken aback all taking in layers of shock and unexpected puns) I laughed with great pride and with a haughty fiery heart. Everyone laughed! Malti was the first to barge in. My mother came crying to me and slowly and gently rubbed her hands on my caked hair, all twisted and tangled. She looked at me with a cow’s eye.
I still remember the mother cow always used to cry when she was taken to an abattoir. Tears flush her eyes, and she chokes multiple times. She becomes barren until then, for her sons have already served as stakes in numerous plates.
She too sucked off from her organs and every inch that can put her udder under heavy milk flow was done to make her a milking machine. Udder machines beating her breasts like a teen does licking and oozing pleasure with his first-time Girlfriend.
My mother’s eyes dropped tear droplets like an unending flow of milk, it did not stop for many minutes, even an hour. I was all drippy and I asked her what happened. For Malti knows and She was to escort me for the rest of the day. Malti was my pal, friend, and bestie.
Beyond that, we were too close, for when I was in 12th standard (end of high school phase) I had a relationship with a guy. His name was Karan. Karan loved me a lot, and in the heat of the moment, we kissed one day. As he protruded his tongue and gently draw it inside my mouth, I felt good. But on the same day, Malti kissed me, She was jealous as she loved me wholeheartedly. I remember after 8th period, Mrs. Ruli took her class and left our classroom.
A few moments after when we had recess, Karan gently touched my back when I was with girlfriends, I turned around and he took my hand and gently dragged me to the games room. And kissed me, it did arose my passion, for he also tried to unbutton me.
I cannot lose all my senses in school, I had hopes pinned on my teachers, and I was really a good kid, so did not toe the line. As he started to unbutton my shirt and almost reached for my inners but I pulled him towards me and shared another kiss. And took his hands off my shirt and hold it backward, He kissed my neck and as I was aroused, it took me time to tell him to stop. I told him, to come to my home at 5 PM today my parents will go somewhere else. And, with humungous efforts on my part, he listened to me, finally.
On the same day, after this happened. during the 9th period which was also the last period/class for the day, which was an off period for us. Half of the kids were outside. It was day’s end so the teens were chilling. Karan, was hot as hell, kicking that Football. I came to the washroom to do my ablutions and suddenly Malti came running to me.
Malti was one of my friends and I always knew Malti to be a cultured, good kiddo. She was a very shy, reserved, introverted kid, but man Malti was good in Maths. She was the Indian specimen of Mathematics that other nationalities root for. I always went to her for my physics and maths questions. Though she does not need that much academic assistance, I help her with languages to revert something in return for this precious class of high-end Physics she was teaching me. Suddenly our former formal friendship was about to change in just 5 seconds.
Malti came running and grabbed my neck and pounced my lips onto her. The electricity and the impulse I was receiving were too hard to explain for every part of my body was activated. She was there for me. I was scared but happy, and nervous at the same time.
But the moment was so surreal and so unexplainable I did not want her kiss to end. Time snapped into seasons and years and I was there in her mouth swirling and twirling inside her. The quiver she made with that sweet sensation made my deep extremities churn. I was wet and oozing, I was wishing Malti to undress me, on the premises of the school.
What we were doing, was not only frowned upon but a taboo. Getting intimate in school and that too with girl-on-girl action. Amidst all that was going on in my mind, I thought about Karan. But Malti was seeping into my bones her beaming nectar that she was transfusing my blood with was like a potion of life, as I said she gave me something that I have never felt before.
As I hold Malti near to me, she was the one to hold me tightly, She told me, “Hey, I think we should stop?” And then she waved me bye.
On that particular day when I was taking the bus home after school ended, Karan asked, “Hey what happened? You seem awfully quiet.” I replied, “No nothing, not feeling like talking today.” Thousands of thoughts occur in my head moving at a lightning speed, what to do and not do? What should be the plan for now, “Should I tell Karan I did not like him anymore?” Malti brought out a part of me that I could not think ever existed.
Thankfully Karan departed from the bus and I slept. Though Malti lived 5 minutes from my home, she went with a different vehicle arranged privately from school, I just wanted her next to me. I took a power nap for 10 minutes. The driver called me out and told me that he has reached my stop, and I need to get off the bus. I saw someone waiting near our house. I saw Malti carrying two pink roses, one in light and the other a dark Pink almost like a vibrant and vivacious red.
I ran and reached her, looked right and left, and then jumped onto Malti and reached her for one more kiss. She handed me both the flowers. And I asked, “You like roses”. She replied, “Yes Roses when they blossom for the first time in Spring, they bring goodwill.”
I said, “Okay, You really care about my goodwill”, she replied “Of course.” As Malti was leaving after her 5th step, I called her name, “ Malti, Malti, Please.. Come back.” “Do you want to come in the evening 6 PM. My parents would go out to a wedding. My grandmother will watch over me. She does not intrude when I am with my friends. Yes even if it’s a guy.”
Now for the tough part, It was 4:30 my parents left. Karan was a good friend my family knows him. Moreover, I have already told my parents that Karan and Malti will come to visit me. Karan was about to enter the premises I opened the door came outside and closed it.
He wanted to kiss me again, I leaned in to see something. All the flesh that was vibrating somewhere his electric potion wasn’t working. He was getting restless, but I had to stop him, “Karan I cannot date now”. He was in shock, “What Why? But you were kissing me?” “I was but Karan we both have to get into good Colleges and Unis after this, Can we afford to fool around like this?”
He replied, “But why now?” As a rude adamant Teen, he called me ‘tramp’, ‘cunt ‘, and all bad and vile words, and then left, by kicking our front lawn grass while looking at me with vicious dread. Nothing deterred me now to be with Malti.
I lit a few candles in my room. Spread out some petals in our bed. I waited for her. It was 6:30pm, but Malti has not come yet… I wanted to see and meet her.. She has not come yet and she wasn’t picking up my calls. I called her.
I ‘Malti’ was not able to call her. Hey dear reader, I am Malti, the girl that you thought was the narrator of Anjali’s story. This is me ‘Malti’. I write this sitting near the shores of the beach looking at the roses that I have planted here.
On Indian beaches, the greenery lay opposite pristine blue water. The narrator you thought was Anjana, everything she said was indeed correct. I agree with it since all of that is real. What she did not tell you? Or I could not pretend to be her and talk to you as the liar.
Reached
I was calling Anjana to say that I won’t be able to come today as my father came back from his business tours and, I had to go with him. My Papa does not like me carrying my phone anywhere. He comes once in 6 months to meet me and Ma and stays for 2 months at home and then leaves. I couldn’t even text Anjana to inform her that I couldn’t come today because she knew about my plans but did not know I won’t come.
After a day of frolic and reverberating happiness, from movies, eating my favorite ice cream MC Donalds’s softie, and Fried Chicken from KFC, which is another good option, I booked a cab and we were about to reach home. I heard a feeble voice ‘Malti’, ‘Malti’ As I saw her, I told Dad to go indoors.
Anjana was right there waiting for a few seconds but I walked on the vehicle-run road as there was no vehicle around, seeing me, she too walked to get me. But a car traveling around 130–150 km/hr at a neighborhood route was coming swiftly I jumped on the other side, and as I pick myself up while touching the sticky mud ground, I uttered ‘Anjali… Anjali…’ She was not there.
I felt a pall of darkness seeping through my eyes. I could see everything just vanishing… I panted and cried like a baby, I just felt worthless suddenly I saw someone on the other side of the road, I went near her, it was indeed Anjana, she was draped in blood with her hand amputated and her legs gone. I cried and yelled, ‘Anjana, Anjana, Anjana.’ I couldn’t even carry her. I wanted to jump and kill myself.
But I made myself composed, I centered myself I ran and called my Dad. I shouted at top of my voice. Dad also saw someone on the shrub laying. He too was in complete shock. I was crying and weeping like a deranged person. I was all puffed and bloated, about to gorge my eyes out of my sockets.
I held ‘Anjana’s hand’ while she uttered, ‘Malti’, ‘Malti’, Papa wasted no time and carried her in his arms, We got into a Taxi and told him to take us to a nearby hospital. The ride was horrendous, I shouted at the driver and told other vehicles to give us the road because a person is dying. I was shouting the entire time. She is still uttering ‘Malti, Malti’, and then her voice faded………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Almost nil, I did not know what to do. The taxi stopped, I came out of it and started walking alone as my Dad was uttering ‘help’, ‘please somebody help’ for an unknown kid, what he did with the love of my life, I do not know. I was numb, Maybe it was a panic attack, as if my organs were dead, and my heart is not beating anymore.
Hence, looking at the beach and the oceans. For I did not tell you the entire story, Anjana’s bus dropped her. Her parents were already gone. She called me to her home. She told me to sit at her grandma’s table for some time. I told her I will come.
She drew petals for me, making a heart, my heart. I kissed her, and she kissed me, our bodies touched and we felt the heat. She felt it too and told me, her and Karan’s story before our dangled dance started. But, I had to spoil it, for my Papa came to the home after a long time. I saw her mother, she was always weeping, never had the courage to face her. I wish I could just for once turn back time and made love with her before her soul is taken away. I had a dream last year. Where every one of her family was able to meet her.
And for 5 hours we made love, for everyone knows she will die within 24 hours. While she made love to me, she told me “You know I want you to hold my hand while we walk on beaches.” I asked “Beaches?” She replied, “Yes, can we grow the roses that you gifted me on the habitable land near the beach?”
I said, ‘Yes sure’. And that’s it, I long for her, scent, being, and everything. Hoping, if she ever exists in any form I can meet her and tell her that I loved her since the day, I saw her.
Since…………………
The………………
Day…………
I……….
Saw….
Her.
Malti’s notebook’s last page
I always
Loved you,
Always will.
Always.
No matter…..
What it takes…..
Always…..
In storms….
In Winds…..
In Cyclones…..
Or Hurricanes….
My love for you is of perennial existence.
Can survive all the pressures and deep-seated fissures,
It won’t ever fade away,
But will long for you and my heart will bleed for you every day
(An ode to two of my flowers from my backyard, pink and dark pink roses, the poem is for these rose flower shrubs)