Syncing of fates, meeting halfway, and departure…Part 2
A woman of divided lines, fissures, and dangling in the rootless abyss.
Hello wonderful people, This is Kallol Poetry on the other side, hoping all of you are doing well. I have written and completed the second piece on Syncing of fates, hoping you like it. In case you did not read the 1st piece I will embed the piece at the bottom. Part 2 won’t begin in an out-of-context situation if you have not gone through Part 1, it’s still readable. Without further ado, enjoy this tumultuous emotionally vulnerable piece mirroring 'The Ship of Theasus’ paradox.
A woman of divided lines, fissures, and dangling in the rootless abyss.
If you are a new reader then I would advise you to read the 1st part first to understand the contextual building. Though the narratives are not interwoven, in case you feel like you can. The first part is embedded in this piece below…
I am Split
Rashmi was panting heavily. Angad was on the side of the bed, looking at the floor. Bipul was silent. They all remained quiet for a moment. Rashmi had strangling marks on her neck, she sweated herself while aggressively breathing after the attack perpetrated by Angad. Angad is scared of his dad since he was a child. He became more and more estranged from his father Bipul, particularly the moment Bipul stopped playing with him because of work responsibilities. He remembers their last game of soccer. He remembers when he was a small 6-year-old boy, Bipul used to play football with him. Then one day suddenly, Bipul despite promising to fake play Soccer and let Angad win did not turn up, and this devastated him. Sabina was cooking that day. Angad asked her, “Ma, Where did Dad Go”. Sabina replied, “He went to Job beta (child translation in Hindi),” “But Ma he promised he will spend time with me.” His Ma again looked at him in awe and raised his chin up, brushed his hair, “Do you not like to spend time with me?” Angad in awe replied, “I want you as well, just Dad can play soccer?” Little Angad did not know the type of mess his mother was in.
Sabina cried a bit, her moist eyes glaring at her demure face. She took a cloth and started sobbing underneath it. Sabina has been sobbing since the day she married Bipul and even before on this particular day. Sabina got into where she is after going through immense turmoil.
One day Sabina when she was 12 shouted at her mother “Ammijan (Mother) my stomach pains.” she yells in screeching pain. She was taken to hospital and later the truth was unveiled, Ammi was shattered hearing it, as Sabina carried a baby in her womb. When the stuff was said, She fell on the waiting area couch and stared at the floor for an odd 3 minutes.
Ammi lost her motion abilities, her eyes grew red from the constant stare. Tears automatically doubled and it floated through her cheeks. Najma knows what it's like to have a child aborted. She sees every bit of the horrendous dream. Dream she had seen, Her brothers and sisters existing, and her mother popping out babies, for the ignorant man’s world that the world was in at that time. Using protection during sex was seen as some form of Satan’s plan to exercise exorcism. Sabina became who she is today because she made choices to uplift herself and remain bold enough to go through with them.
The Doctor asked continuously, Najma Ji……Najma Ji…. She snapped out of her hallucination. She utters with infinite voices as if the words are hard to even draw out from the roof of her mouth. The Doctor says, “Najma ji, Your daughter is only 12. How can she become pregnant? We will have to call the authorities to file a report on the perpetrators.” Najma herself was okay hearing that, but she thought about Sabina’s Father.
Sabina’s Father was rich, rich in the territory of vile abuses, he was dirt cheap poor but had million dollars to buy a truck of liquor. Having almost all his organs given up on him, he is a domestic violence culprit.
For, he was one of those who thought beating a woman was a larger statement in itself, Kinda like Andrew Tate but without the English, minus Tate’s arrogance, minus his not-so-affirmable ability to be a mocker talker who thinks hurling abuses to feminine makes them alpha male.
Known by the name as ‘Abdool’ Najma’s husband was a local goon that survived on theft to manage his alcohol expenses. The house was run by Najma, as she stitched clothes, and sold very dignified Banarasi Silk Sarees for the neighborhood. Najma loved doing that, she would hand a thread and needle to Sabina, and she would look at her eyes and brush her hair and she would say, “You look so beautiful, God took 10 minutes away to craft your face.” The problem started when home became a dungeon like you are entering the gates of hell. Sabina always hid behind her mother when entering the home while Abdool was there. Najma has scars everywhere. Every possible area of her skin was always swollen. For now, as she looks at Sabina she has painfully dead blood spots on her arms, and she was crying in the washroom to find a way to quench her pain. She did not know what to do. Cultures are beautiful on one side, but what about the other side? For a family to have a daughter molested raises questions about their values. Girls or women alike getting violated at such a tender age calls for boycott, late marriages, and more dowry, therefore Najma know what it’s about to happen. She did not want to go home today and called her Aai (Marathi name for ‘mother’), as the metropolis of Delhi gutted with loud noises drizzled. Najma’s real name was Renuka, she was a lower-caste Hindu girl converting to Muslim who married ‘Abdool’ who loved her and got her as his wife at a very young age. He loved her, and her parents loved him, But did Najma love him?
Their parents not able to take in the humiliation from their neighbors from boycotts to ostracization, threatening letters when they enter the neighborhood temple by their own brethren of the same religion took their patience to extremes, from where there was no coming back.
They all converted the day before marriage so that the marriage could be legal. Aai picked up the call, and said, “Hello Najma, How are you?” Najma said, “I am good Aai. I need to talk to you about something. I need to stay with you.” Aai does not know after 13 years of Najma’s marriage that her lovely Abdool does all kinds of nasty things to her Najma. She did not say much after that, Aai replied, “We came for fishing on the coast. So we won’t be back for a month.” Many people in Najma’s birthplace go to sea shores to catch fish and sell it in the village. Their parent's profession was that too. She look outside a little and with two fingers rubbing her forehead, she said, “Take care Aai. Aai said We will and take care, Najma.”
Now Najma had no option but to take Sabina to their own paternal home. Najma prepared herself for the abuse today. She thought today she will tolerate it as it was her child at stake. Both Najma and Sabina went by foot to their homes. In the entire route, both did not look at each other. Najma wanted to ask her but could not, she had her own conditioned mind. Najma heard that a small girl was abused by her paternal uncle in her village and their parents tried to hide this because they feared How their girl will be perceived and the reputation thing comes after. She feared the same she just wants to vanish. Her silence was palpable, the Doctor said they need to abort the baby pretty soon, time is of crucial value here. She already has called out for an appointment at the same hospital after 2 days to perform an abortion.
Abdool came home late today, he drank more than usual, but for some reason, his walk was sturdier for his drinking. He came and beat the door with his fist. “Cunts open the door. I married one and birthed one. Hey Nympho, open the door.” Najma told Sabina to go to her room and sleep, and sip the last bit of milk she could offer. Najma’s home was small but she managed to give Sabina her own room because of all the stuff that can really hurt her childhood. Najma opened the door she was pushed to the ground. Abdool closed up their bamboo-made door, but their door was never opaque anyway.
Things that went in could be seen from the tiny holes that let the light pass in and in miniature forms, they can see Najma getting beat up this time of the day. All women face the same, so it has been normal to surrender rather than fight it.
Abdool was furious, Near to the earthen pit where she was cooking milk lay burning wood. Abdool picked one up and started beating her with it. He uttered, “This is how you raise our daughter, this is what you do when I am not at home. Take that little horny bitch with you once I throw you both out of my house.” As the beatdown was getting heavy for Najma to happen and Abdool really became wobbly at that time. And for the first time, neighbors watched something different. As Abdool got imbalanced from his alcohol trip.
She took over the log and alighted fire in it and gave him the first strike. Abdool neck-deep in alcohol could not get up. After beating him 2–3 times she took out Sabina from her room. The neighbors peeked. Suddenly a flame emerged from the home people started shouting Fire! Fire! Fire! They tried bringing in water and called Fireextinguishers but that narrow part of town was like a clogged space. A madhouse cannot sustain that mauling.
The straws got fire in like a tincture of friction. As the crowd shouts, Najma ran and ran with Abdool’s wine bottle while Sabina hung on her neck. Sabina cried her guts out and Najma ‘s delusional deeds let her sweat profusely while Sabina’s tears made her feel the warmth, and she knew that’s not sweat but the fear of her daughter. Her daughter’s fear is agitating her fears.
Najma reached the train station and waited for a train at midnight as the train came she asked someone If the train will go to her parent's home, and someone said yes. She went inside the train and sat near the door while Sabina holds her shoulders and they both watch the darkness turning into a hazy morning with white light. Najma came to her mother’s home. She knew where their parents used to keep keys, they shifted their locality and came to a Muslim neighborhood post-conversion. Ruksana was Najma’s friend her mother Afsana is Aai’s friend. She went to Ruksanna and asked for the key, and was told not to inform her parents she was home. Najma moved to her parent's house. After crying and sobbing her heart out she sat on the sofa, touching her toes and watching her base thinking about all this. Sabina picked herself up went to the kitchen got some grains off of her rice baskets and put them up in their bird gazing area. The wild Pigeons flood the screens and started eating there. Sabina came back again and started drinking coffee. She opened a newspaper, but after reading 1 paper she made a whoof! sound nods her head and again puts her specs back on and looks at her garden grass.
Najma build a life of her own in her hometown, and she started selling her Banarasi silk sarees. One order led to another then that lady brought another lady, In 6 months she was employing 2 woman tailors alongside her. Time changed, and Sabina also grew. Mother and daughter defined their personas. Sabina cracked one of the toughest exams in her country and got into a medical school. By then Najma had 8 shops easily involved in saree selling business. Najma and Sabina both came a long way.
Sabina always cried on this day, on this particular day. No matter what she achieved getting admitted to Harvard Med wasn’t enough, and Leading Psychiatry at John Hopkins wasn’t enough. Nothing could fill the void, for this was the day she got her child aborted. No one knows How did she get pregnant until today. It's like a blank paper with not even a black dot to spot at. Angad reminded them of her first baby and moreso on this day. Najma Ji got married to a lovely man, ‘Khusagra’ after she came to the US with Sabina. Now she sells Banarasi sarees there in the US and exports them to almost all ex-pats in the middle east, Europe, Singapore, and Dubai. And she imports all the embroidery to keep her technique authentic from India. Sabina’s stepfather Khushagra passed away just 6 months before. It was like she forgets her real father when Khushagra is around, just that on this particular day she remembers her dad. Sabina waves the wild pigeons bye. Closes her side door and then Bipul enters, “He holds Sabina from the back and kisses her on the back of her head. She looks at Bipul like she trusted him for the man he was. She waited with her eyes closed and Bipul kissed her. She still has her eyes closed and places her head on his chin. While Bipul too closes his eyes.
Bipul asks Rashmi to stand up while Angad was still looking. Bipul yelled grabbing his chin, “This is How I taught you to behave with your peers and let alone girls.” He slapped him thrice. Angad in bouts of anger did not look at Bipul with his eyes but kicked a chair and threw some things and ran away from his room. Bipul took Rashmi to his room and told her to take a shower in his room’s washroom. He dressed her and gave her all kinds of ointments and told her this will keep her safe. Bipul asks Rashmi, where do you live? She told him her address. Bipul takes out his car and tells Rashmi to direct him to her home, he wants to drop her. Bipul while in the car said, “Rashmi I like you okay! There is something in you that draws me in.” Rashmi with wet eyes looks at him, Bipul wanted to give in to this moment but remained firm. “But you have your whole life to choose guys. You don’t have to decide now.” Rashmi utters in her depressed voice, “But I love you!”
Bipul said, “Look beta! My life is in dire distress now. My son might kill me at night someday. My wife is fucking random dudes in hotels. Even if I want to be with you. Now is not the right time.” Rashmi opened the car door slammed it hard and then went to her home not even turning sideward to wave a slight bye. Bipul reversed his car and went at mid-3 PM to complete his remaining shift back at the hospital.
It's been a month since all the deranged things happen. Rashmi was focused now. It was time to take the SATs. Angad does not look at her now, He was cute, he got a new girlfriend almost 2 weeks after their breakup. Rashmi on the other hand felt a tad more pukish than usual since last night. She was even syncing and seeing that her periods have gone a week later than usual. Rashmi in dire distress knew what that means, she just want to know if it was for real. She sent one of her seniors from school but is now in college to get her some pregnancy test kits. She wasted no time and took multiple tests and all of them showed positive. Rashmi awfully shocked with a disappointed face fell on her bed and was staring at the ceiling.
To be continued…………………………………………………………………………
Signing off beautiful people now brace for the third part of syncing of fates..
Yours dearly,
Kallol Poetry… 🌹🗣🌿🌸🍁🍀
Story of a woman who sells her flesh
Answering the woman who is fighting her deeply estranged dilemma Have you ever felt used, abused, and reused, panting in and out of breath, yet trying to experience closure amidst the forever skin-stricken armor? People say things as they experience them, for they hail their tongues out to capture the
might want to edit one spot where you say “without further adieu” as “adieu” means goodbye. You actually mean “without further ado.”